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March 16, 2010

The 5 cheesiest tech slogans?

Posted: 11:21 AM ET

At a keynote address on Monday, Twitter CEO Evan Williams said the aim of his company is this:

"Be a force for good."

TechCrunch writer Michael Arrington, who reported this quote from the South By Southwest Interactive festival in Austin, Texas, said the statement made him cringe.

Any company that's out for profit cannot claim simply to "be a force for good," he writes:

... it’s basically impossible to balance a profit motive with a goodness motive. And in fact the nice thing about capitalism is that everyone acting in their own self interest tends to be good for everyone else, too, if appropriate government forces are put in place to stop monopolies, pollution, etc. Being a socialist is a great way to get laid in college but it’s no way to run a society.

With that in mind, here's our list of the five cheesiest - or otherwise bizarre - tech company mottos, slogans, mission statements and unofficial tags. Can any profit-seeking company claim to be in it for the betterment of humanity? (Ben & Jerry's ice cream tried until investors stepped in, as NPR explains). And do they have to wear their ideals on their sleeve in such bumper-sticker fashion?

Let us know what you think in the comments section. And, without further ado, here's the list:

Google: "Don't be evil." ("Star Wars," anyone?)

Apple: "Think different." (Like the rest of us? Part of an older ad campaign.)

Microsoft: "Your potential. Our passion." (Well, at least they're passionate).

Facebook: "To give people the power to share and make the world more open and connected." (A little long-winded for a mission statement, and doesn't include any money-making goals).

And, of course, Twitter: "Be a force for good." (See above).

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truthchecker   March 18th, 2010 10:49 am ET

Actually Accenture (who was formerly Andersen Consulting) had been a seperate company for over a decade before the Enron incident. The only thing they shared during that period was a common name. They were not the same company and none of the Arthur Andersen employees worked for Accenture.

But yes...the slogan was cheesy

"How about Accenture's slogan (you might remember Accenture as the consulting arm of Arthur Andersen, the accounting firm that was center of the Enron controversy)?
How fitting and deliciously ironic that the pitchman for a company mired with people with similarly low ethics and values is busted for cheating on his wife!!!"

charlie whiskey   March 18th, 2010 11:22 am ET

Fox News: Welcome to Obama's America

Hernan   March 18th, 2010 11:23 am ET

Re: <

Yes, that is their slogan. The ones they are working for (having worked for them as a staff engineer) are not their customers but their exec management and stockholders, who should probably change their little slogan to "Lockmart – We're too big and well connected to follow ethical standards or the law."

Hernan   March 18th, 2010 11:24 am ET

Re: "keiyume March 16th, 2010 2:07 pm ET Bill – Lockheed Martin's is "We never forget who we're working for."

Yes, that is their slogan. The ones they are working for (having worked for them as a staff engineer) are not their customers but their exec management and stockholders, who should probably change their little slogan to "Lockmart – We're too big and well connected to follow ethical standards or the law."

brad   March 18th, 2010 11:30 am ET

I know this is not a tech slogan, but I always looked at the Olive Garden slogan with some amount of amusement.

"When you're here, You're family"

What kind of family offers you a meal, and then insists you pay afterwards. Perhaps the Mafia would want you to pay after you have been given a meal. Family might have a double meaning.

swschrad   March 18th, 2010 11:49 am ET

accurate slogan for these outfits:

"Buy now, our quarter's almost over."

Tracy   March 18th, 2010 12:13 pm ET

"Move Forward (but don't plan on stopping!)" – Toyota
"Accelerate Your Life" – Toyota (stolen from the Navy)
"Life In The Fast Lane" – Toyota's New Theme Song
"Driver's Seat" – Toyota's #2 Theme Song (stolen from Lincoln)

"With or Without You" – New theme song for ObamaCare

jdmurray   March 18th, 2010 12:46 pm ET

The tag line "The network is the computer" is a brilliant, concise summary of distributed computing. Computer networks are the greatest thing to happen since home mail delivery and telephone service.

>Sun Microsystems: "The network is the computer."
> No, it's not, because a road is not a car.
Wrong analogy. Cars on a road are not analogous to computers on a network. Cars are more like packets on a network. Saying "The packets are the network" makes no sense.

Govt. Cheese   March 18th, 2010 2:01 pm ET

"The Charity Case Philanthropist " That my tech motto.

I wonder if my motto works?

andrew   March 18th, 2010 2:22 pm ET

I got a great idea CNN! how about reporting on innovative and new technologies that hope to change society for the better, instead of talking exclusively about the ipad, cheesy tech slogans, and Spiderman(Techland blog)!

Gwen0000   March 18th, 2010 2:46 pm ET

I thought SUN Microsystems' was: "We put the dot in dot-com"??

Ray   March 18th, 2010 3:03 pm ET

One of the worst:

"Try my product?"

Video Professor

Traveler   March 18th, 2010 3:37 pm ET

Soppy, for chicks only:

Zyrtec. So I can love the air

Whoooaa   March 18th, 2010 4:51 pm ET

F5 Networks – IT Agility. Your way. – isnt that the Burger King line?

publius enigma   March 18th, 2010 5:57 pm ET

Why do you automatically equate "be a force for good" with socialism?

greg m   March 18th, 2010 6:46 pm ET

"country for jobs,no housing, no healthcare, and we owe everybody billions,but will help with your national disasters."
i guess this one would be..."may the force be with you."

random dude   March 19th, 2010 12:49 am ET

Google abandoned the "don't be evil" mantra quite some time ago. Those of you praising them for for their "threats" to leave China need to realize that if they were truly trying to not be evil they never would've set up shop there to begin with. If the are so opposed to the censorship, they never should've done it to begin with. They are in no way interested in your privacy, and will censor for a government if it means they can make another buck.

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